I am so incredibly proud of Journey today. He went with me to an hour long meeting at 14′s school. He did stairs like a champ, laid down close to my chair during the whole meeting, even fell asleep for a bit and I was able to drop the leash. He only popped up twice – once when 14 walked really close by my chair, and once when a fly landed on his nose. All he did that time was sit up and make a disgusted face haha. He maintained his down while other parents came in and out and took seats, and was sociable when given permission after the meeting, and did the stairs going down like an ace. And he navigated crowds like a pro. I’m not worried at all about our trip to the UK next month. He’ll do great!
Fantastic outing with my fantastic boy! Spot on today! It’s raining and the wind blew an empty Actimel (DanActive for my US and Canuck friends) bottle towards him and it rolled and rattled. He looked at it, took a step back and for a second my heart stopped – I was sure he was going to spook. He didn’t. He watched it go by and recovered quickly and we carried on toward home. He did a perfect “back” in the supermarket line when the woman in front of us realized she forgot something and originally intended to just squeeze past us (ew, no thanks, we’ll back up) and was just great overall at matching pace with me and checking on me often. He did awesome on the stairs in front of the house, took them one by one and braced with each step, gave me enough space on the ramp in the lobby of our building so I didn’t smack into the wall. I’m so impressed with him today. Extra treats for him!
My leg hurts so so bad. I’m going to bed for a while. It took me over an hour to walk what used to take me 15-20 minutes and I’m pissed off at my broken body, the world, my dog, everything because I have no control over anything at all and I’m not LIVING I’m merely EXISTING and it’s just not good enough anymore.
I should have skipped team training today. My leg was hurting, Juju was being a puppy in training and I was treating him like I expected a working dog and that’s not fair to either of us. By the time we made it down there, I was too frustrated and we didn’t feel like a team at all. There was one highlight during confidence building exercises where Journey was absolutely brilliant, and he did well with distractions today, but I was in too much pain to focus well and the trip home was disastrous. I broke down in tears more times than I can count, raged against the universe and frankly I just don’t know how much more I can take.
When is enough…enough?