Crap…. here come the tears again.
I am so so sorry, Karma. I knew the end of our time together was coming sooner rather than later, and I so desperately wanted to send you out on a high note. You were doing so well, I never saw that Sunday coming. Saturday you were fine, better than fine, you were great. And Sunday came. And you weren’t. I didn’t want your last day to be like that. I knew you would tell me when you were ready, and you did, but I wish so much that it hadn’t been like that, that you would have gradually slowed down and we would have had time to prepare for a proper send-off. I am sorry that I let you down and I let you fall and couldn’t catch you. You never ever let me fall and I am so so sorry. I’m sorry I got you those cheeseburgers and ice cream too late. I’m sorry I found your favourite collar too late. I’m sorry you used the very last bit of strength you had to walk just one more time across the street to the doctor and I am so very sorry that we said goodbye.
I just wish I could hold you one more time and tell you all these things. I miss you so much.